animesh kumar

Running water never grows stale. Keep flowing!

My Flawed Destiny

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destiny-calligraphy-poster-c12331207Destiny, as always, once again crossed my itinerary. It might be a cursory crossover. It might be a deliberate manoeuvre. Who knows? But its charm, its charisma, its ostentatious-ness was same. Nothing was decayed. Nothing was improved. Not even a part. It looked at me in the face, smiling and enticing like a chintzy gloss, successful to beguile me, like always!

Last time, even, when the series of pylons carrying wires of destiny biked over me, the confrontation wasn’t very different. Approximately five years earlier, perhaps more! Yet, its lineaments didn’t reflect much change. No fall. No rise. Only stability prevailed. Its perseverance, nay, complacency was amazing, eerie up to the limit to haunt me. The dilemma – it creates, the chasm – it penetrates, always urged me to surrender. Contrastingly enough, at the same time, somehow, it always ushered me to fight. People say that improvement in perfection is rare. Had my destiny perched its perfection? I doubted. May be it had stagnated. Huh! Whatever be the case! When history had already repeated itself, I was left with little to digress. I had to choose.

But, was it really unchanged? Or, it was just a subterfuge showed up to me? Earlier, it had despair, and now, beguilement. It was changed. One facet of ifs façade differed from the earlier one. Its pranks were now friendlier and luring with a defined facial boundary. I could identify it. I could distinguish its face from the rush. Yes, it did change!
Years ago, it was like news shouting my failure accompanied by chaos. I stayed, collapsed to my feet, unable to decipher the message, confused to choose the stone whose turning could have brought me luck. I found none. I waited. Slowly…slowly, the aura de-condensed as I brushed my eye-balls. Light managed to diffuse through the fog. Something, then, abetted me to fight against the decree. I hardly remember what was that?

Destination remained, path lost!

I fought and conquered the destination but little was left in debris, behind, to trace out the impasse there. Neither had I atoned, not repented, but accepted as it came to me as I found myself into a prestigious engineering college.
Happy and almost complacent! Destiny was defeated and my goal achieved. I looked around, scrounge up and down but no more combat remained. I enjoyed the calm. Soon, doldrums overgrew and I felt hapless. I needed a reason, a reason to stroll ahead with, a reason to stand for, a reason to muse over, and a reason to die for.

It was then, filled with smug defiance, furrowed by past battle – not in anxiety but in urgency, I ventured out to beguile my destiny once more as if to surprise it before it could en-cash the chance. It was then; I declared my moral, my responsibility superior to my career. I was no longer complacent or a vestige of hubris or a canopy of poise. I was all anew then.

I saw communication, for the first time, not electronical but literary and I realized its potential not as a career but as a mean to fulfill my social responsibilities. I felt charged; more charged that ever because of the cause I was standing by. For every big responsibility deserves bigger attention and higher devotion, I stood capricious to my destiny and tenacious to my dreams.

Destiny understood the stubbornness of my stance and tricked its game accordingly. It acquired oneness rather than its long cherished vagueness and my destiny came to me in person than a newspaper.

Fight, between us, commenced. Bells tolled once again. But the fight wasn’t similar. It wasn’t archaic, it wasn’t antiquated.

I wasn’t fighting blood but glitter. I wasn’t denying fist but money. I was offered security – fiscal security. I denied. Grip tightened. I resisted. Piles of money racked in front of me so as to touch the heaven. I hesitated. It blocked my vision, for some time, and blinded me. My ethics hid away behind the dollars.

Fortunately, lessons from the last confrontation lasted. And I was beckoned to the present. Foe-ness returned back as ally-ness perished. I stood up again. More firm and more dedicated this time as the game went on.

The game is not over yet. The show is on. The combat is on. Results are too close to call. Greater cause suffers greater persecution and bears richer reward. My dreams have worth more than that of my destiny. I will fight to harness the richness of it, Come what may!

Written by Animesh

April 20, 2005 at 11:27 pm

Posted in Diary, Featured

Tagged with ,

One Response

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  1. Jai Ho


    November 17, 2009 at 2:07 pm

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