animesh kumar

Running water never grows stale. Keep flowing!

Love: a disturbance.

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Whoever has said that love is the elixir of life, has said only one facet of it?

Love, is a diabolical game, the hunter and the hunted, both at once like a two faced-guillotine, gallows, and slits itself through its own slits.

Love is not a kind of emotion rather it’s an idea – inchoate at first, assembled at mid, and abandoned in end. How it stems is still an enigma, but how it grows is certainly decipherable. Love is an idea, if I say this, then like any other idea one must first conceive, then nourish, and then chase, and then fight for love.

What is the definition of it? I remember a Hindi Movie, titled ‘sathiya’ where when the protagonist falls in love his friends say: “kehtae hain jise ishq, khalal hai dimaag ka.” (What you call love is merely a disturbance of brain). Following this trail, if love is nothing but a disturbance, a kind of increment in the mental entropy, and physics asserts that for a closed system once entropy is increased, it never falls down, then the idea of ‘love being an idea’ gets justified. Any idea, however great, or however insipid, first props up in one’s brain, and he denies it, doesn’t accept it, but the idea, or rather the disturbance continues to grow, to escalate in the most interior part of his being, and eventually there comes a time when the idea ceases to be controlled, and the man falls down to it. Euphemistically, falls in love. Ah! Love, the greatest mystery of human existence, the vaguest of all, is nothing but a disturbance. How stupid? But wait!

Why is sex so pleasurable? Why, in ancient art, in Kamasutra, in archaic Hindi temples, in Greek deities, and everywhere we see sex as something very sacred, hallowed. Then, in Khajuraho temples, we have sculptures promoting sex, and emblems depicting sex as something of divine pleasure. And indeed sex is a pleasure, bliss. And love – please note I am referring to the kind of love which flowers between a man-and-woman, a kind of love that intends to end up at physical union, not the other versions of it, I would rather refer those loves as ‘agape’ – then became a cocoon of sex. Remember, since the earliest family traces, we have a concept of arranged-marriage. Tribes marrying for unity and strength; Kings marrying for kingdoms; families marrying for brighter prospects. Marriage was a concept of union, of something that was used to bolster one’s stand, and power. Then where was love? Love came later. When a forced, ambitious marriage started to tear apart, Love was asked to keep them together, intact. Shah-Jahan, son of Jehangir, husband of Mumtaz-Mahal, the great queen after whom the great tomb ‘The Taj Mahal’ was erected, was married to an Arabian Princess to escalate the Indian Moghul kingdom towards west. But the union didn’t last. Then he married again to Mumtaz-Mahal. Huh! You call it a great story. A historical epoch. A romantic manifesto. Right?

I would like to emphasize upon a hidden truth here. In the approx. twenty years of their married life, the queen bore his seeds for nineteen times, and later perished to death while giving birth to her sixteenth child. Was it love? Or was it merely sex, more precisely lust. Why was it that the queen allowed her husband to philander with other courtesans only to keep herself dry? Ah! O Love. You are a real mystery.

So, now can I say that love is an Idea? An idea, that you had before you met your better-half, and then slowly-slowly it started to rot, and the idea started appearing like a burden; I mean when you first saw her/him, or conversed, or dated, or even during the first few years of the marriage, you thought of her/him as the one with whom your destiny is tied, with whom you could live happily for eternity, but then the real world descended upon you, and the idea went haywire. Now, because once you had this idea, and because you believe that this idea was indigenously yours, you fight viciously with its changing façade, to keep it from changing.

But, it’s too late. It has changed, and now if you don’t keep it in conventry, you will be doomed.

This elixir, this love, is indeed the most sought after panacea, something that everyone needs, but it has its characteristic expiry period like we have for allopathic medicines, and one must never use any medication that has expired.

Then why carry love, when it is dead. Leave the filth at bay, and go chase a new love, transform yourself with it, travel the path, live life, live love.

Written by Animesh

October 21, 2005 at 12:23 am

Posted in Diary

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